Why Social Media is ruining our holiday

Social Media is a way of connecting the world. It can be a way of staying connected to old friends, new friends, growing a business, having an outlet for expression, and staying involved in your community. That is all well and good, but there is also a downside of social media which is not something new. The addictive side. The side where it’s the first thing we do in the morning when we wake up, and we spend countless hours just mindlessly scrolling through our phones. The side where we find ourselves comparing our lives to other people's lives. The side that can cause depression and anxiety to skyrocket. 

Now, let’s add the Holidays to the mix. Cue the matching pajama family pictures, the Christmas decorations, the perfect Holiday feasts, the elf on the shelf, Christmas cookies making, the sourdough loaves that look perfect (I still haven’t tried it yet ha!), friends getting together and laughing, etc, etc, etc. What we post on social media is the good stuff. It’s the side of our lives we want to share.  And hey, we all do it - us too! But here’s what you don’t see. The tantrum before the Holiday picture, the burnt pie before the Holiday feast, the traffic jam on the way to see Grandma and Grandpa, the argument before the big Friendsgiving party. No one is going to post that. So when you look at social, you just see the good stuff, and that’s when we start comparing ourselves. It is a distorted form of reality that doesn’t always reflect daily life. I did it the other day! A friend posted these beautiful pictures of her fresh bread and then another friend posted a huge Friendsgiving and a perfectly decorated house. Then it happened, I started comparing. I had major FOMO.  NOT OK!

There is a quote by Theodore Roosevelt, “Comparison is the thief of joy”. And that is proof right there. I started looking at my life saying Why can’t I do more homemade bread? Why didn’t I get professional pictures done? Why didn’t I get to do a Friendsgiving? I should have more decorations?” These questions weren’t coming from me; they were coming from me comparing myself to these posts from other people. I succumbed to social media anxiety, depression and FOMO. Before looking at social I was perfectly happy with what I had and what I was doing, it wasn’t until after that I questioned everything.

When we compare ourselves to others, we forget about what we have. We start saying things like, IF I had this, THEN I’d be happier. But would you really? So say I got invited to 2 Friendsgivings - I would have been stressed. I would have had to juggle naps, possibly staying out too late, cranky kids. Would that really have made me happier? Probably not. 

So how do we manage social media and keep it as a healthy part of our lives? 

A couple of things to think about and consider for you…

Assess your relationship with social media. Are you addicted to it? Do you find that it puts you down every time you scroll and you start comparing yourself to others? If so, it’s probably time to ditch it. If you feel as though social media is affecting your mental health, it may be time to take a break.

Consider how long you spend on social media and how you’re using it. Are you spending it scrolling and judging yourself on others' posts? Or are you using it as a healthy way to keep in touch with loved ones or for work purposes only? 

If you feel like you can’t completely take a break from social media, it may make sense to set some boundaries for yourself. Here are some ideas:

Take social media off your phone. Yes, it’s extreme, but it helps with the habit of just picking up your phone and scrolling. If you don’t have immediate access to social media at all times, it helps break the habit. I personally did this and was incredibly freeing. 

If that is not an option, consider using a timer for your social apps. You can set these up in your phone settings and set a time limit for each app. When your time limit is up, the app will grey out, and you’ll need to manually “ignore” the notification that you’ve gone over your time limit. 

Instead of focusing on other people’s holidays and what they’re posting, try and focus on your own and what you actually enjoy!  Stay present, and do actual social activities that bring you and your family joy. 

If there are specific accounts that trigger negative emotions, consider unfollowing or muting them for the time being. You can do this without the person's knowledge, so you can keep a healthy boundary and maintain the relationship in your own way. 

Try having an “unplugged” day where you don’t go on social media at all. See what happens! You actually may enjoy it!

Give these ideas a try and see how it helps you stay present and enjoy your Holidays a bit more!